


Unsaid Andrew

by sheskyripa



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Neil Josten loves Andrew Minyard, Neil is a singer, Song fic, just a little angst i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27896920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheskyripa/pseuds/sheskyripa
Summary: "If you could only knowI never let you goAnd the words I most regretAre the ones I never meant to leaveUnsaid Andrew"A year and a half ago, Neil left Andrew behind when his band went on tour. Now, during the last concert, he sings a song for Andrew.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 12
Kudos: 127





	Unsaid Andrew

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, what's up?  
> So, here's another fic that I decided to write for no reason just satiate my creative mind.  
> I particularly liked the final result, honestly. BUT for those who have read something of mine, know that English is not my first language and I'm still getting used to it, so sorry for any mistake.  
> And for those who are waiting for me to update In Secret, know that it will not take long. I live in the Northeast of Brazil, and it was a warm time since August, and I have an allergy, which left my hands very dry, and it was horrible to write, but it is already improving.  
> Enjoy the stay and watch Julie and the phantoms, which is where I got the music from :)

Neil had two favorite things. 

  1. Kiss Andrew. 
  2. Get on stage.



Although he hadn't done the first thing in a while, it never stopped being his favorite thing to do in the world. Going up on stage gave him a similar feeling, where he felt his heart could fail at any moment.

Like now. 

He took the stage behind Kevin, his heart pounding like thunder, positioning himself on the vocalist's right side with his bass in his hand. Neil also sang, of course, but there was no denying the power of Kevin Day's voice. Being his second voice was more than Neil could ask for. 

Tonight, however, he would sing alone for the first time. 

It was the last show on The Foxes' world tour and Neil had been planning to do that for a while.

They were in New York and the show was being broadcast live on YouTube and Instagram, the only one that would be, and Neil knew Andrew would be watching, no matter how things ended between them, and he needed Andrew to hear what he had to say today. 

When Kevin finished the last song in their repertoire, Neil put his bass aside and walked to the middle of the stage, where Kevin was.

"Good night, New York!" he said and was answered with surprising cheers and cheers. He didn't speak much to the audience when he was on stage, Kevin was the one who usually ends the shows, but today was a special night and Neil wanted to do everything as planned. "You must be asking yourself 'why is Neil finishing the show today?', And I tell you: it's not the end of the show yet."

He laughed when the crowd reacted and looked over his shoulder at Jean, the drummer, who handed him his guitar. 

"Today, I have a [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhhtZkSH8pM) to present to you." Kevin placed a stool next to Neil, who quickly sat down and adjusted the microphone to match his height. "Hope you like it."

_ First things first _

_ We start the scene in reverse _

_ All of the lines rehearsed _

_ Disappeared from my mind _

Neil remembers the day he felt he had to write this song. It was the next day that Andrew told him that he would not go with him on the tour because he wanted to complete his master's degree. One day before they went on tour. Neil was happy for him eventually, of course, but part of him was disappointed that he didn't have his favorite person in the world beside him at the best time of his life. It made him an idiot with Andrew at the time. 

_ When things got loud _

_ One of us running out _

_ I should have turned around _

_ But I had too much pride _

Spending your last day before going on tour fighting with Andrew was awful, and Neil didn't know how to talk to him about it being so far away.

_No time for goodbyes_

_Didn't get to apologize_

_Pieces of a clock that lies broken_

_If I could take us back_

_if I could just do that_

_And write in every empty space_

_The words I love you in replace_

_And every time would not erase me_

It was a year and four months that Neil did not speak to Andrew directly, although he interacted with him on Twitter at times. That was how Neil knew Andrew would be watching tonight. He expected the message to be received. He hoped Andrew would forgive him, although he understood if he didn't or if he moved on. 

Telling Andrew that he was being selfish about wanting to complete his master's degree when Neil was about to go on tour was incredibly hypocritical on Neil's part. If he had another day, just one more, he wouldn't be singing this song right now. 

_ If you could only know _

_ I never let you go _

_ And the words I most regret _

_ Are the ones I never meant to leave _

_ Unsaid Andrew _

_ Silent days _

_ Mysteries and mistakes _

_ Who'd be the first to break _

_ Guess we're alike that way _

_ I said, he said _

_ Conversations in my head _

_ And that's just where they're gonna stay forever _

Neil was no longer on stage.

With his eyes closed as he sang, all he could see was Andrew's golden eyes, his reserved smile, and the dimples that only Neil knew he had. 

His voice failed at some point, but he didn't care - if he was singing well or if people would like it, all he wanted was for the message to reach Andrew. 

_ If I could take us back _

_ If I could just do that _

_ And write in every empty space _

_ The words I love you in replace _

_ Then maybe time would not erase me _

_ If you could only know _

_ I never let you go _

_ And the words I most regret _

_ Are the ones I never meant to leave _

_ Unsaid Andrew _

Neil was shaking slightly when he sang the last note, but he swallowed the urge to run away and opened his public smile as they reacted to the music. "Thanks, New York!" 

He stood, with Jean on one side and Kevin on the other. They held hands and thanked the audience and then the lights went out and the last show of the tour was over. 

Later, after Neil showered and ate, he took out his cell phone and opened Twitter. The first thing he saw made him smile, hopeful.

**_ Doe  _ ** _ @ phantom03 _

_ idiot _

∞

Two days later, Neil was in a taxi leaving Columbia airport with his heart racing with anxiety. 

He tried to distract his mind by looking at Twitter, but gave up when he saw a fan sharing a story that said: WHO IS ANDREW THAT BROKEN NEIL JOSTEN'S HEART? Obviously, people didn't quite understand what he wanted to go through with that song, but it didn't matter, he wouldn't sing again. 

In the three seconds it took between Neil ringing Andrew's doorbell and him opening the door, it was like centuries. He felt that it seemed like the waiting time between the trial and the sentence.

When Andrew opened the door, Neil could cry. 

He hadn't changed much. His hair was longer and there were more piercings in his ear, but other than that, he was the same in his memory. 

"Neil?" Andrew looked genuinely confused. His eyes roamed over Neil's face until he stopped at the backpack on Neil's arm, and then back to his face. "Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," Neil whispered back, looking at Andrew with an idiot face, probably. He swallowed. "Can I, uhn, come in?"

Andrew stepped aside and said nothing. Neil entered the house with his head down, not knowing why he did it, but doing it anyway. He left his backpack by the door and followed Andrew into the living room. 

Andrew's house was no different than what Neil remembered and the photos Neil had framed and hung around the house were still there, which made the anxiety in his stomach lessen with the familiarity of this movement: him following Andrew down the small corridor between the door and the room. 

"What are you doing here, Neil?" 

Always straight forward. It was one of the things Neil liked most about him. 

"Once upon a time, you told me that on the day that I was no longer divided between you and the band, I could come back to you," Neil said, swallowing. "I left the band." 

Andrew looked at him and Neil was familiar enough with the gesture to know that Andrew was looking for the lie on his face, but he would find nothing if not raw truth. Leaving the band was much easier than leaving Andrew, and that was enough for Neil to realize that his dream of touring was not complete without Andrew.

He could live a life without singing to crowds, but he couldn't live a life without Andrew.

"I came back for you." 

Andrew just looked at him.

Neil was a little desperate.

"I mean if you had someone ..."

"There is no one," Andrew said, taking a step towards Neil. "It's just you."

Neil sobbed. 

"I'm sorry," he finally said. Neil never knew what it was like to have something to go back to before meeting Andrew. With a life on the run, he never let himself have anything to return to. He met Andrew shortly after his father died and letting his roots grow around Andrew was as natural as breathing. He thought he had cut them off when he went on tour, but they only grew along the path he took away. "I'm so sorry." 

Andrew walked over and put Neil's face in his hands. Neil hadn't even realized he was crying until Andrew wiped away the tears on his cheek with his thumbs. 

"I shouldn't have left," he sobbed.

"It was your dream," Andrew replied, quietly. 

"My dream had you by my side, I didn't realize it until it was too late." Neil put his forehead against Andrew's. "I shouldn't have called you selfish." 

"I shouldn't have waited until the last day to tell you that I was going to stay." 

Neil put his hands on Andrew's waist and brought him closer. 

"I want to kiss you," Neil whispered in the small space between them.

Andrew pressed his noses together. 

"Yes."

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sheskyripa)


End file.
